is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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