Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
