I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
