big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I need a beard to bite.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize