She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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