Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
