She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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