I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
