id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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