There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
