We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
