lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
