there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
