from now on my penis is your penis
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Drake has all the answers
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
