Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
