Im at strip club and am horny
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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