I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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