shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i just had sex bonerless
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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