That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Someone shit on the floor
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
