Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
