My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
