Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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