My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize