Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
