we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
