but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
