oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize