Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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