The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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