are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
