I CAN MOONWALK!
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
