I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
my poor anus
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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