it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
