There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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