So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize