I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
