He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
