I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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