He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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