i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I understand Curling. That high.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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