it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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