I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
40s are totally the cure
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
