Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize