you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize