Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
