I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
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