I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
