I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Randomize
