With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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