i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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