question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
