How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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