So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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