We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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