idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize