We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
