Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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