Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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