My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
