Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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