There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
