ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
