dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
